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There are few things that annoy me in the world of football. Manchester United constantly winning the premier league is nothing more than a minor nuisance: Valencia, the club that I support as dearly as Toronto, constantly selling star players like David Villa, David Silva, Juan Mata and Jordi Alba, is cause for, well, not much, besides a shrug and a sigh: Watching Toronto FC as of late, however?
Agonizing.
But, here we are, as usual, writing the same thing we’ve written all year long, and, all things considered, the same thing we’ve written for six years now; the headlines have stayed the same – “Toronto FC good, not good enough,” “Toronto FC comes close to a win,” and, my personal favourite, “Valiant Toronto FC Come Up short.”
Valiant – a word used with the implication that, somehow, Toronto FC had put up a masterful effort, worthy of note in the title of the article itself. Perhaps the reader would believe that, though valiant, Toronto FC just couldn’t get the job done, and the blame was probably the other team, or the referee, or the weather, or the grass, or the wind, or a curse, or the plethora of excuses that this side has come up with to mask the fact that we just are not a good team.
We’re not.
We suck. It’s time to embrace the suck. Deep breath, now. Inhale. Do you smell that? That’s the smell of suck.
The decisions at this club are appalling at best – Ryan Johnson has proven, throughout the course of his time at Toronto FC, that he simply will not perform well on the left hand side of midfield. He has only ever scored when he is in and around the box. This is the reality of Ryan Johnson, so why play him there!?
And, to make matters worse, what motivates a rightback to play at centerback, and a centerback to play at leftback, and a striker to play at rightwing, and a midfielder to play up top? It takes a rudimentary understanding of EA Sports’ FIFA 1998 for the Nintendo 64 to know that that simply won’t work.
I praised Paul Mariner for his animated touchline performances in the past, but it quickly grew tiresome and is simply embarrassing now. The players are being treated like children, learning how to play football for the very first time. More than that, it looks foolish, seeing a man jumping around like that, when his team so clearly looks out of it.
In the end of the day, none of it matters, because the results aren’t there. Paul Mariner could scream out of a Darth Vader voice changer and wear nothing but his underwear, so long as the results show. If they don’t, who, then, looks the fool?
Moral victories aren’t victories where it counts, so when Terry Dunfield scores an equalizer in the 85th minute, Toronto FC may believe they’ve done themselves a service, but the standings say otherwise, as the club continues to embarrass itself in Major League Soccer.
You don’t win this league with moral victories – you win in this league by winning, and, let’s face it, Toronto FC is not a winning team. We’ve analyzed the formation, the players, the managers, the style of play, and every single factor in between, and none of them explain why this team just can’t get their act together.
I don’t mean to come off as negative – I like to think of myself as a pretty positive writer, and I’m sure my articles will back that claim up. However, I’m finding a reason to watch Toronto FC harder and harder to come by as of late.
When the Vancouver Whitecaps first played Toronto FC, I saw a club that oozed soccer savvy, and Eric Hassli was the envy of my footballing eye. I remember sharing notes with close friends, the topic of which was, inevitably, the desire to somehow, somehow sign Eric Hassli.
I do not exaggerate when I say that Eric Hassli’s arrival is the only positive I’ve seen from this year full of negatives, of which the guilt lies largely on this new direction of negative football, of hoofball, which is easily one of the worst styles of football that this team has ever consecutively played poorly with.
A 1-1 draw does not appease an otherwise broken heart. It’s clear that Toronto FC may believe they’re paddling downstream, hoping to pick up speed, and hey, they could very well be right. I just have a feeling that it’s not the direction itself that will make a difference, but the creek they find themselves in.
You know the saying, and I won’t repeat it in full, but to put it mildly, Toronto FC is stuck without a paddle in “2010 Chip Butty” Creek. (We all had a 2010 Chip Butty and we all know what it tasted like…)
Ah well. This may very well be the rambling of a disheartened TFC supporter first and foremost, but it had to be said.
Today, I want to hear from you, the readers, the RedNation Online faithful. Yes, that means you, Peter Parker, and you, Fort York Red Coat, and the rest of you.
Leave a comment down below, in that little space between the end of this article and the end of the page, and tell me, what’s keeping you watching our Toronto Football Club? Have at it!
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