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Well, after flirting with the idea of ending his career playing in the City of Light with Paris Saint-Germain, Goldenballs himself, David Beckham, made it official today that he is returning to the Los Angeles Galaxy to continue his role as a soccer missionary in the United States. The 37 year old former Manchester United and England National Team star has signed on for two more years with Major League Soccer and his entire brood will accompany him back to Beverly Hills. Nudged on by NBC, Tim Tebow apparently prayed that it would happen and some higher power has now made his return a reality.
While I do find David Beckham mildly irritating in a number of ways, I also have to grudgingly admit that his return to the Galaxy is a good thing for both the MLS and promoting the sport of soccer in North America. Sure, the pretentious tattoos, Eminem-like entourage, God awful clothing, hairstyles that only Lady Gaga could love, silly children’s names and underwear ads that look like Scientology recruitment posters are certainly off-putting for anyone that considers themselves anything remotely resembling a sporting purist. And when you have a voice like Beckham does, well you had better be both extremely good looking and quite talented at something. Luckily, Sir Alex Ferguson’s favourite boot tossing target gets favourable marks in both his genetic viability as a sperm donor and as a World Class footballer.
That said, even with the fact that he lives a very different lifestyle from most people in North America and the other 99% percent of MLS players – and his press conferences do seem more like Occupy something movements more than media events – I’ve never been able to get away from the assumption that deep down Sir David is a decent enough guy.
Yes, he looked pretty mean when he was admonishing that Galaxy fan who wasn’t happy about his perceived lack of loyalty to the club that was paying him $32.5 million to play with Landon Donovan. But he also looked like a genuinely good sport in my all time favourite YouTube clip in which Mr. and Mrs Posh Spice were interviewed by Ali G. With Madonna’s limo driver peppering his wife with all kinds of saucy questions about her sex life, good ‘ole Becks that just sat there looking about as threatening as a seal that was about to be clubbed. The Zen of Becks was in full effect.
Furthermore, Hollywood just seems like the right place for a blonde brand like Beckham. With a square jaw and an ability to make the ladies swoon, it isn’t hard to imagine the London, England native following in the footsteps of other famous Brits and doing some acting at some point. Sure, he would have been more suited to starring in silent movies rather than say The Expendables 3, but that’s just part of what upper class English people call charm.
And while he may not possess the verbal bite shown by fellow Englishman Ricky Gervais at the Golden Globes, he can still deliver a well placed free kick when he puts his mind to it. Furthermore, something about his quiet confidence suggests that, like Robert Redford and Leonardo DiCaprio, he will use his Southern California fame and wisdom to rail against the evils of the Tar Sands and the Keystone Pipeline. In fact, sources have indicated that he has already shut down the David Beckham Soccer Academy in Calgary on ethical grounds. And he also marked his return to Los Angeles by announcing today that he will be the new spokesman for Chiquita bananas.
But all snide remarks aside, the return of Beckham to the former British colonies has to be a welcome sight for anyone who wants to see the North American first division continue to grow. Arsenal legend Thierry Henry is a hero of mine and, in my humble opinion, a much better player, but my Mom certainly doesn’t have any idea who he is. Nor do my plumber, my Prime Minister or my 10th grade history teacher. However, they all know and love David Beckham, who looked so dashing at William and Kate’s wedding.
Ultimately, there is no question about whether or not the return of David Beckham is good for North American soccer. Like Don Cherry, he has an aura that transcends his sport even when his influence tends to also transcend the very tenets of rationalism. The only David Beckham question that still needs to be answered likely surrounds whether he will once again be turf averse when scheduled to play soccer in Toronto.
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